Labor and delivery recap

8/22/08 1:15 am
By 11 pm contractions were not regularly 5 minutes apart but they were very intense and lasted almost a minute. They were 5-8 minutes apart but pain was becoming unbearable and we did not want to rush to the hospital in the middle of the night. So we decided to pack and leave for the hospital; with readiness to come back which did look like the possibility. We reached the hospital at around 12:05 and we parked in the visitors parking and took the spot closest to the door leading to the lobby. Closed. We walked around to the main entrance and there was a sign saying we should use ER entrance after 8 pm. I wonder if they ever told us that during childbirth classes. Anyway, so we walked around the building again and found the ER entrance. A sigh of relief. Took elevator A to 4th floor and registered immediately. They had our file ready since we had already called a few times previous evening already but delayed our arrival with the fear of having to go back if were not dilated to a point where they would admit us. After registration we will be taken to the triage room where they will make sure that we were worthy or getting a bed.

At the triage room they would also make sure that water had broken. They did the usual checkups and observed contractions. Then an assistant doctor came in to make sure that the water had broken. She will be taking a fluid sample and looking under microscope to make sure that the fluid has characteristics that would suggest that it was from inside uterus. She could not get far enough to get the sample and we will have to wait for the resident doctor. After a little while a resident doctor came in and took the sample and check how much was she dilated. 4 centimeters!! We had already transitioned into active labor and that, as per my knowledge from books, qualifies us to get a bed. We will not be driving back home. Not tonight. Sample under the microscope also suggeted that the water was broke. Congratulations.


8/22/08 3:15 am
It has been two hours since we were brought to the labor and delivery room. Contractions became stronger and were becoming unbearable. We had not even unpacked. Forget inflating the birthing ball or setting up music. There was no time and I would not be leaving her side. We talked to the nurse about our birthing plan; that we prefer for this to be as natural birth as possible and she would not want to be offered pain medications until she is ready. We will be breastfeeding and we do not want any pacifiers to be offered to the baby. By 2:15 labor pain had become unbereable for her. Contractions were hitting very hard and we had tried all positions. She was starting to give into pain and I could not blame her. I was only watching the numbers go by on machines and I was ready to offer her drugs or epidural if it was upto me. It was time to discuss our options. Nurse explained the two kinds and we decided to start with narcotics but she will have to call in experts to make sure it was right time and choice for her. It may take up to 20 minutes before she can get any pain medication. The resident doctor showed up at around 2:30 to see how far along we were. 9 centimeters he said. And we were like, 9 what? He said yes, 9 centimeters!!!

But there was some bad news with that. Bad news was that it was not advisable to take any pain medication now. Medications will take some timem to be arranged and then it will also be some time before medications kicks in. With the pace her labor was progressing at, it could be time to push by the time medication kicks in. We were 1 centimeter from fully dilated but pain was making her weak. Also, with no medication to help contractions were draining all energy out of her body. Minal could not bear the pain anymore and we asked for a narcotic. Before they could give her a narcotic the resident doctor came in to check her once again. He said there is no time. She is 10 + 2. I asked 10 + what? He said she is fully dialated and two steps ahead after full dialation. She can begin pushing if she wanted to. I was so excited. I looked at Minal and said it will all be over in a couple of hours. She was ready to push and we thought may be an hour more before a beautiful baby is in our hands.

8/22/08 6:15 am
After three hours of rigorous pushing we are still in labor and delivery room. With little bit of "cheating" we could see the head two hours ago. But since then there has been no progress. With every push the baby's head peeks out a little bit and then goes back again. We have switched from baby monitor on Minal's belly to one on baby's head. With contractions so intense and pushing so exhausting there was no way Minal could bear the nurse pressing on her belly every few seconds to keep a tab on baby's heart rate. Now baby's heart rate can be constantly monitored and, with every push, we see the wire come out a little and then go back as soon as the push ends. I am not sure where she was getting all the energy from to be able to push like that after so many hours in labor. May be it was the fear of C-section or excitement to meet our baby. One thing I was sure about; that I do not want to see Minal in so much pain again. Once all this is over we will forget about this every happened and at least I won't be thinking about a second baby.

At about 6:30 the delivery doctor showed up looking like he just woke up from a good night sleep. Careless about how much pain she was in he continued to glance through papers and screens to grasp in minutes what we had gone through in 9 months. Just felt like wacking him in his head!! Then the master spoke. He said it does not look like the baby wants to come out this way. He was in no doubt that Minal was doing a fantastic job pushing but with no progress in two hours we will have to take other measures. He mentioned the word C and that is last word neither of us wanted to hear or were prepared to hear. All 9 months of pregnancy we never, even once, thought that it could very well happen to us. We asked for other alternatives.

The doctor mentioned two. One was to try vaccum but that would still require Minal to keep pushing and did not look like she had any more energy left. The other was to let her take and epidural and rest for few hours. But after those few hours we may be back at this point. All of it was happening so fast. We had no time to think but Minal and I knew one thing. No C-section. We opted for vaccum since Minal agreed to push with all her strength. Everything was ready in 5 minutes and we tried to pull baby's head out for another 15 minutes. No luck. And doctor brought C word again into conversation. At this point the doctor was convinced that baby's head was in such a position that it will not be coming out through vaginal opening. I asked about the epidural option. But with epidural, he said, we will only be wasting time. During that time the baby will be uncomfortable and mom's labor will be stretched out unnecessarily. I could not believe we had no other option. We never even imagined we will have to go for C-section. From baby's development to moms weight gain to baby's head down position and full dialation without pain medication. It appeared everthing was going so well. And now we were left with no other choice. It seemed people with planned C-section were better off. We reluctantly agreed.

8/22/08 7:15 am
We heard a cry. It was our baby's first cry. It was amazing. Tears went down our cheeks while I sat behind a curtain holding Minal's hand. The nurse wrapped her and brought her to us. A beautiful baby girl was in my hands. She looked like a big girl for mommy. I don't believe words can ever describe the feeling when we saw her for the first time. She was perfect.

Minal was still feeling guilty. She thought she could have avoided the surgery by pushing harder. Little did she know that even after complete exhaustion she pushed so hard that baby's head was half way through. The doctor looked over the curtain and said - "There is no way she was coming out through vaginal opening. She was 'sunny side up' (facing the ceiling) and you did the best you could do which is evident from her cone shaped head. So stop feeling guilty." She weighed 8 lbs and 2 ozs. A big girl for our mommy. Her belly was mostly baby and no more.

Doctor's will take some time to sew her up and I accompanied the nurse to the nursery where basic measurements and other basic exams will be done.

Water broke, 8/21/08 @ 9:37 pm

I did not think this is how I will learn about her water breaking. She went to the loo and felt a gush of water flowing through. She flushes it out and then tells me her water broke. I had more dramatic scenes run and re-run in my mind about how and where her water will break.

So there is some progress. Talked to the doctor a couple of times before the water broke and they still want us to watch for 5-1-1. Or we could go to the hospital and get checked with readiness to return home if we are not that far in labor. Well, now the water broke so we are coming. May be we will time contractions one last time before we go. But the doctors should know that water broke.

Mucus plug gone, still waiting

Neither I nor she has any idea what is going on inside her body. Contractions are definitely not 5-1-1 which is what the hospital wants before they can take her in. They should be 5 minutes apart, each should last about a minute and this should go on for at least an hour. We have called the maternity a couple of times but have been asked to wait until we reach 5-1-1.

The problem is that we are seeing two different sets of contractions. When she is lying down contractions are very intense, last longer but are still probably 6-8 minutes apart. When she sits up contractions are less intense, last only about 35 seconds and are 6-10 minutes apart. So we are confused. At least we know that mucus plug is now dislodged and water could break next.

8/21/08 5:05 pm

It has been almost 16 hours since contractions started last night. This could be called the longest early stage of labor. All morning and also until couple of hours after lunch contractions were coming in but stayed between 35 and 45 seconds. Whether relaxing on bed or sitting up chatting contractions continued to come anywhere between 5 and 15 minutes apart.

Late afternoon the intensity increased and Minal has been fighting with that. Not only that but she also took readings from 3 and 4 pm while I took a booster nap. Contractions are now lasting between 50 and 60 seconds ranging from 6-10 minutes apart. Hoping to get to 5 minutes apart in next couple of hours and get those dots in a straight line.

8/21/08 10:00 am

Contractions became long between 7 and 8 am lasting between 45 and 55 seconds. Also we noticed a few being 5 minutes apart. So we said lets get ready and then count them again. Both showered and I shaved, cancelled meetings, took the day off and most of the stuff in car. By that time the intensity got less with each contractions lasting for about 30-35 seconds. So we decided to have breakfast. It has been half hour past breakfast and contractions have lost the frequency, intensity and are not lasting that long either. So we wait. May be most of the day will go by.

Minal says the baby is going to be like me. Because I am always early to whereever I need to get to :)

8/21/08 4 am

Contractions are still only lasting for about 30 seconds. Good and bad both happened between the last post and this post. Good thing is that we decided to sleep; and we did for some time. Bad thing is that when she woke up around 3:15 she noticed some discharge and we aren't sure whether it was just the mucus plug that popped or the water broke.

Does not look like the water broke because there wasn't as much water. I am calling the office in the morning because they should know if the water broke. What do we tell them? That we are not sure? May be they will ask us to come in for a checkup and then we will know.

Back to bed

Contractions kicked in

8/21/08 1:27 AM
Contractions have started. They came in out of the blue. Or may be I triggered those. I am known to have 'Kaali Jabaan'. Minal and I had a bet on a bollywood song which she won and started doing her dance moves. This was at about 11:30 pm and I said ' Don't dance too much; it might induce labor'. It was a few months ago at a local Pizzeria that she had felt what she thought was a contraction. But it was too early. Since then she had not even felt any Braxton Hicks. And right after midnight her contractions started. At first they were 6 minutes apart and lasted only a few seconds. Then she had a little bit of blood in her urine and sure I called the doctor to find out if it was normal. It is.

Contractions are now lasting longer (about 40 seconds) but frequency seems to be decreasing. Now they are about 12 minutes apart. We will be watching those and hopefully Minal can get some sleep and get through the night. I hope the intensity increases only after day light. I will be working from home.

Here comes another one - 7 minutes after the last one. But this one was short (~30 seconds) and not that intense. So may be we can get through the night.

Is my brain multitasking?

I have always liked to think that my brain can multitask but on several occasions I have found that it does not. Like if we had a big vacation coming in a couple of days or some other personal project coming up I found myself thinking about it even at work. Not just thinking but planning and just plain waiting for it and not doing much at work.

I am back to that now. Two days to due date and I find myself idling at work. Thinking about all things relating to baby, labor and delivery and not concentrating much on what needs to be done at work. My brain is not a multi-tasker after all. I just sit here pretending to work while writing away blog entries.

Not enough pictures

During early weeks of pregnancy I was keen on taking pictures but Minal wanted to wait until her belly had grown enough to make her look pregnant. When belly started showing she wanted to wait until her belly was in 'perfect round shape' as she had seen on some of magazine covers. Then we got busy with moving and other projects at work and what not. After her parents arrived her mom wanted to click at all times but Minal will want her to wait until her hair and outfit were worthy of a good picture. Result? We do have some pictures of her pregnancy but not that many.

It was last night that we realized that soon her pregnant belly will be gone and that we won't have enough pictures. She blamed it on me and I agreed. I should have been clicking more not caring about whether her belly or outfit is photogenic or not. Lets see how many can we click until the baby decides to come out. Two days to the due date!!

Counting down to the due date

Countdown that you see here has been on our desktops since past week. A few moments ago I pressed Windows key + D on my keyboard to access some document from my desktop and my eyes just got stuck on this. I noticed that the baby inside that movie has started moving faster, for some reason. My heart is racing right now and I do not know why. May be it is just that paranoid feeling that I get everytime - that may be I am forgetting something. Something that should be done but has not and I don't know about it yet. Or may be it is realization that the day is getting closer and I am scared by the thought that we will be responsible for a life for next 16 years, at least. I used to scare Minal with this but never thought I will get scared too when it is time.

I don't remember when I last felt this scared. My heart is just pounding away.

An ultrasound; yet another

After 36 weeks into pregnancy prenatal visits switched to being every week. Since then I have been able to accompany her to only one of those and she went to others with her mom. She went alone last Monday. The first time she went with her mom she wanted the doctor to confirm whether the baby was still head down. They did an ultrasound and figured the baby was in fact head down. Mom, not being able to understand the language, didn't realize the purpose and was concerned.

For past week she has been feeling relatively less movements but there are still probably 10 movements every 2 hours which is what is required. On her last visit she did not say the latter part and the doctor recommended an ultrasound. The nurse found the baby head down, further descended and most active of babies she saw that day. Everything fine and on track. But the fact that they did an ultrasound got her mom concerned yet again and she would not relax until I explained that it was the only way for them to look inside and make sure everything was ok. And they were only doing that to investigate Minal's concerns about baby not being head down or not moving enough.

1 cm dialated but no effacement. Huh? Is that possible? I guess it is and I have not gone back to books to find out. But 1cm dialated means the time could be anytime this week. Hospital bag is zipped and sitting in the corner of the room. Depending on how she progresses in next couple of days I may start working from home after Wednesday.

It is happening. It was only 2 and half years ago when we left behind single life and moved on to embrace 'us' and 'we'. It is now time to move on to 'our little one' and 'our family'.

From 20th to 40th

It is amazing how time flies. I am sure it did not as much for Minal as it did for me. The last update was at 20th week and we are at the door of 40th now. 8 days to go! Lots of things happened during these 20 weeks (jeez 20 weeks sounds less but it has been 5 months!!!)

- We did move to a new apartment in Royal Crest. Thanks to all friends how helped out otherwise third floor and no movers would have been a recipe for suicide. Although we did not like the apartment and I managed to fight with the management a couple of times, we did eventually forget about the apartment and started concentrating on more important things ahead in life.

- Minal had to give blood twice for her gestational diabetes test. The first came out to be positive which we could not believe and scared the hell out of us. Next round of blood sucking tests showed everything normal.

- Minal also stopped flying at about 28 weeks which was a relief; for her. With no more luggage to drag around and no more flights to wait for and ride she was able to save some physical energy. But she did not rest enough even at home since she would be working non-stop from home. She is a real workaholic but then she enjoys her work a lot.

- My in-laws arrived on 18th of June (can't believe it has been two months since they arrived). They were completely syched at how much Minal works even being at home but soon they realized it is part of her life. They brought a lot of baby clothes and other baby items. Obviously they are excited at the thought of being grand parents. With our completely different life styles we have had interesting anecdotes, conversations and arguments. We have had several trips to grocery stores, nearby lakes and gardens as well as to nearby farm for berry picking. My mother in law has managed to scare her teeth of any berries now. That is how many unripe berries she has had. Sad thing is we have not had a chance to take them out on any decent trip and chances are we are not going to be able to until a month after the baby is born. So hang in there mom and dad!

- During these 20 weeks we also attended a classes on breastfeeding, child CPR and childbirth. Last week we finished our last in series of 5 classes on childbirth and got ourselves a certificate!! We are ready it seems.

- The baby has been growing at a steady rate and we have gone from hardly feeling any baby movements to baby elbow poking her ribs and making arcs from inside her belly. Baby's bones have been getting stronger and her hiccups have not stopped. Mom has gone from gaining a 3 pounds every two weeks to gaining a pound every week. She is now at around 163. I have not be able to go for last 2 prenatal visits and mom-to-be and her mom have had a chance to get out spend time together.

- We also managed to surprise our mom-to-be with a successful baby shower. You can see the pictures. It was a lot of fun and I managed to completely sych people with my answers to questions in one of the games. It was to find out how much dad-to-be knows mom-to-be. And I aced it! Ok getting off of the soap box. But thanks to Aps and Raji without whose support we would not have been able to pull the surprise. Mom and dad were happy to see that we *do* socialize a bit.

- A week before the baby shower we had the traditional 'God Bharai' at home. This is a tradition where mom-to-be is showered with gifts and blessings. Usually performed by her mom. You should be able find pictures here.

- After baby shower there also has been a lot of shopping, lot of returns and lot of shuffling through gift cards and coupons. It has just been crazy with the shopping and mom-to-be :). Returns is what really drives me crazy but hey I should complain only if I can grow a baby inside me. So she deserves it!! As a result of so much shopping and hopping around we think we have all the essentials at home. We did moved things around in our bedroom and also put a few things up to make it look like a baby is also going to be dwelling in the same room. We got the car brakes repaired and also have the car seat installed. We are good to go!

Phew! lots of updates. But above paragraphs cannot even come close to summarizing how many emotions have flown through during past twenty weeks. Minal has been an amazing mom-to-be not only taking care of herself and the baby but also keeping an eye on and making sure everybody else at home is comfortable. I am glad that she now has some breathing time since she quit work last Friday. Two weeks is the least she deserves after 38 weeks of office and house work during pregnancy. She can at least take afternoon naps. I wish her all the luck and strength to cope with labor. Of course I am gonna be at your side honey!

Finally managed to talk to the nurse at the pediatrician's office. We have now decided who is going to be our baby's doctor. One battle still continues and I think it is going to go on until the baby arrives. And that is baby's name. Not just first or last but also about the middle name. I don't suppose we have a final verdict on any of the names yet (first, middle or last). It is ultimately going to be whatever mom wants. She deserves to name our baby whatever she wants.

Mommy got a promotion!

Minal's two years of hard work at IBM has paid off. She has been promoted to band 8, which puts her in same band as most of project managers she has worked with. There is at least some reward for those early morning flights, long working hours and being away from home.

Congratulations Mommy!

I know how much Minal loves her consulting job and she would love to continue consulting; only if it did not require traveling. It remains to be seen how things will shape up when, and if, she decides to go back to work. Right now she should be looking forward to a long long vacation and months and months of bonding times with our girl that she so badly wanted.

PS: Daddy got one too!

20th week update

Prenatal visit at 19 weeks and 3 days
As Minal is cruising around (relatively speaking) in her second trimester there was not much dialog expected during this visit. This was supposed to be a formality (again, relatively speaking) than anything else. Her weight gain is in normal range; something that she does not believe since people keep telling her that she is not showing. Urine test showed everything normal. And we are done!

But wait, there was one that was to be highlight of this visit and one that we were looking forward to. That was results from Sequential Screening Test. We were to know results from Ultrasound and blood work at around 13 weeks combined with results from blood work around 15th week. This was to make sure the baby does not have any genetic disorder or Spina Bifida - abnormalities in baby's spine. The doctor discussed the results in detail and everything, according to the doctor, was normal and there was no reason for any concern whatsoever. We would have loved if she had stopped there. But she was "obligated" to discuss even more. So she started explaining numbers.

Before any tests actually take place pre-test numbers are arrived at based on ethinicity, genetic history etc. And then those numbers are compared with numbers from actual tests. For Spina Bifida, our pre-test numbers were 1 in 900. So far so good. But our post-test numbers indicated our baby had 1 in a 450 chance of developing abnormalities in spine. There goes "everything is normal" out the door. Minal starts gulping air and I start asking questions and trying to prove how those numbers could be wrong. The doctor did say that everything was normal. So what was that based on? Sure enough pre and post test numbers showed that chances of our baby having spine abnormalities had increased but 'everything is ok' was based on Ultrasound that she had 18th week. Ultrasound (visually and based on other measurements) showed that the spine was developing fine and was perfectly normal. Phew!

But that definitely does not do it for the first time expectant parents. The doctor could see the stress and concern on our faces and suggested that we could go for another ultrasound a few weeks later to re-confirm that everything was ok. Sure enough we opted for a second ultrasound.

About the rash
The rash has started to subside and is actually almost gone. Eucerine did it. Although it may take a long while for the pigmentation to give way to normal skin color. No more cream to prevent stretch marks (ouch!). Although she will continue to use Aveeno which help in stretching and hopefully she won't get any marks on her belly. Better than some scary looking rash that we don't know how it will affect the baby.

Boy or Girl
Yes we know! This is actually old news because we found out during Ultrasound at the 18th week. Remember how I had completely brainwashed Minal and led her into believing that we are having a boy no matter how much she wants a girl? Well, she won. We are having a baby girl!!

I do not know how God has been picking up signs but his system seems to be picking up wrong signs. During our long drives I used to pretend to have conversations with our imaginary child. And during those conversations I used to try to turn our child against the mom. And guess what name I gave to our imaginary child. Pinky. So there. Pinky is on her way. This is just like when we said ok, we are ready to have a baby and boom! Sure He is picking up wrong signs. I know what you are thinking. That this guys does not seem to be happy to have a girl. Well, that is not true friends. I am as much thrilled to have a girl as I would have been to have a boy. Just that I was wrong!

Other updates
We are almost packed and move is scheduled for next week. With having lost my right hand (Minal that is) I was thinking of calling movers. But a bunch of friends have offered to help and this week is our last week in Framingham. I am sure we will miss the convenience of all stores, malls and restaurants within a couple of miles from our apartment. But then Royal Crest Estates is a nicer place where Minal will get enough ground for her walks and it will also be a pleasant location for our folks. That reminds me Minal's parents are scheduled to arrive next month. But we are thinking of moving their arrival out by another month since Minal won't stop traveling may be until middle of June.

Is it a boy?

Since the day we found we were pregnant Minal and I have been debating whether we should find out sex of the baby. I have always wanted to know. And all this time I have only been pointing her to signs that will lead her to thinking it is a boy. I think I have succeeded in making her believe we are having a boy. Truth is I have no clue but I am hoping for a boy. Not that I prefer boy to a girl but only because whenever I think of a baby of our own I can only see a boy. Does not matter that Minal has had a picture of a baby girl above her desk at home and that she also hopes for a girl. I just can't see a girl.

Up until yesterday Minal kept saying that I should find out if it is a boy or a girl and she will still want to be a surprise. Only because she thinks I will be able to bond more with the baby if I knew baby's sex. And I believe she is right. But doctor isn't going to tell us only because I want to know. It is her word that counts when it comes to whether or not we want to know the sex. In fact only her word counts throughout pregnancy unless when she is incapable of making decision. So all I need to do is prove that is not capable of making this decision. Hmmm how do I do that?

Anyway, last night Minal said that we should find out because she can't wait either. Knowing what we are having will only double the joy. So I think we are going to find out. Monday is our big day. She will be around 19 weeks and 4 days into her pregnancy and ultrasound is scheduled for that day. Stay tuned!!

She now has a buddy

Minal has never been one of those people who believe friends are a must in life. So I am not surprised to find that she has not made friends with many. I mean she is friends with my friends and my family friends but I am talking about friends-friends. But everybody likes a pregnancy buddy right? And I did not think she was going to find one since none of my friends were thinking of starting a family yet except M and P; but they had a baby girl a few weeks ago.

Last weekend brought pleasant surprises. B and V paid us a visit and we thought this was because we had not met since we shared the news of our pregnancy. But that was not that. They are going for another baby and B is 14 weeks pregnant! Boom, there is Minal's pregnancy buddy. I could already hear them talking pregnancy. I know they probably won't be on phone with each other everyday but at least they know they can talk to each other knowing that the person on the other end knows exactly what she is talking about. You would think that is a husband's job and you may be you are right but we can only provide moral support. We can't relate to being constipated or to pain caused by sciatic nerve!

Updates

Belly Rash
Hydrocortisone was working at an amazinginly slow pace. Or so we thought until Minal started getting itchy around her lips. She thought it could be a side effect from the cream and she went online to check if there were any side effects. Not only she found that that could be one of the side effects she also found that Hydrocortisone had a FDA rating C and was not recommended for use by pregnant women without consulting their doctors!!! This is because it contains steroids that could potentially pass through the skin into the placenta and can be harmful to the baby! She got so mad. I mean here we are trusting our doctor and she goes on suggesting something potentially harmful to our baby without even mentioning side effects. I was pissed off too and I called immediately to get an appointment with a Dermatologist for Friday.

At the Dermatologist we found that her skin being sensitive was reacting very quickly to steroids and was depositing pigments very quickly. Which is why all affected areas were getting all brownish. Basically her entire belly. But the rash apparently was an early break out of PUPPP that usually is seen after 30 weeks of pregnancy. The nurse suggested using natural alternatives such as Aveeno Oatmeal bath and/or Eucerine. She assured that use of steroids so far is not going to affect our baby in anyway.

Minal has been using Eucerine for a couple of days and that seems to be taking care of the rash. But we are afraid that brown color from pigment deposits is going to stay for a long long time.

Lesson learned: no matter how trusting you want your relationship with you gynaecologist to be, you always have to explicity ask about the side effects of anything that he/she suggest. And, do not use anything in pregnancy withough Googling on it.

Is the baby moving?
Probably not. Although she has felt those exact movements a couple of times on different days it is probably not the baby moving. We will have to wait and watch for obvious (or mysterious) signs of baby moving. Probably a feeling of bubble floating around in the belly? Or may be we will have to wait until skin has thinned enough and baby is big enough for us to see his moving elbow making running impressions on her belly. I guess we just wait.

The baby moved, she thinks

Minal called me this morning and asked 'What does your reading say about how it feels like when the baby moves?'. I said is this a test or something? Yes I have been doing my part of reading books but I do not remember everything I read. But I had to know this one since we are in our 18th week and baby's first move can be anytime between 16 and 20 weeks of pregnancy. The problem is that books don't clearly describe how it feels when the baby moves the first time. Women who have been pregnant before can easily tell baby's first move from gas bubbles but not the first time pregnant women.

Anyway, so I told her it feels like gas bubbles moving inside your belly. And she goes - but the gas bubbles are supposed to be inside stomach while the baby is in uterus. Isn't it? And I am like 'ummm... feels like gas bubbles'. She has been feeling what she calls small kicks or pats from inside on the right side below her belly button. That is where we also expect the uterus be at this time. And she has felt those a couple of times since morning. So yes it could be the baby moving!!!

Lets wait and see if the feeling persists through tomorrow and we will definitely know.

About the rash

We showed Minal's belly rash to the doctor on our second prenatal visit last week and the doctor did not think it was any serious rash. It is probably an allergic reaction from the cream to prevent stretch marks and she suggested that we apply Hydrocortisone cream for a week and see how it goes. If that doesn't do it then we may also want show it to a dermatologist.

It has been three days of applying Hydrocortisone and the rash seems to be fading away. But it is working at an unbelievably slow pace and my concerns are not completely gone. We will wait and watch for a couple of days more before I call our Primary Care Physician to get a reference for a dermatologist. May be I should get an appointment anyways for next Friday/Saturday so that we have when Minal returns Thursday night.

It could be August 22nd

We got results of our first round of Sequential Screening Tests. First round included an ultrasound and some blood work. Everything is normal but ultrasound showed us at 13 weeks and 4 days on the day of ultrasound which was 2/19/2008. Minal said that 11/23/2007 as LMP was also an educated guess and actual date of LMP could be a couple of days earlier. Since due dates based on ultrasound in first semester are more accurate we decided to go with the new due date. So it is August 22nd now.

Minal gave some blood for second round of screening and we also scheduled for our next ultrasound which is supposed to be between 18 and 20 weeks. With new due date an appointment 4 weeks from today would put us over 20 weeks; which is not ideal. So we got March 31st for our next prenatal visit and also for next ultrasound. March 31st is a Monday and our appointment is at 11 am. So I guess Minal will have to lose a working day that week and take a flight out late afternoon.

Mommy is not at home

Since Minal joined the team on Lenovo project her travel reduced to almost none. We spent 3 months together in North Carolina and after that, besides a couple of trips to Texas, she has mostly worked from home. Fortunately Lenovo project continued through her first trimester and into second trimester. Working from home turned out to be very very helpful since she could eat well when at home.

Although she takes very good care of herself and I do not have to remind her of anything I am a little concerned now that she is not at home. It also feels weird sitting all alone in front of muted TV after such a long long time. She interviewed for another project yesterday and took a flight out this morning. With her tendency to get absorbed in work I hope she eats well. It is probably easier at home with all the food at your disposal. I hope she takes advantage of on-site cafeteria.

Belly rash

Try to read over the internet about belly rash during pregnancy and you find all kinds of rashes mentioned. From minor, itchy ones to most serious ones with big medical names; there is a long list. And even searching through images.google.com will only scare you.

Minal has this belly rash that started around her belly button and is slowly working it's way upwards in a straight line. Not sure if it was alternating between body lotion and lotion to prevent stretch marks that caused this or if it is some hormonal change. She has stopped applying any on her belly since last week and we can't wait to show it to the doctor during prenatal visit on Thursday. Because it is spreading fast. I keep assuring Minal that it is just a minor rash but at times it scares the hell out of me too. Keeping our fingers crossed.

Weight gain, or lack thereof

So Minal gained almost 5 pounds in her first trimester. She started at 130 and had reached almost 135 by the end of 12th week. Most of it is attributed to her not having any major nausea, morning sickness or vomiting which seems to be causes of women actually losing some weight in their first trimester. Not for her, she gained some.

As per books and doctors women gain most in their second trimester. But she has not gained much, if at all, in last two weeks. And we are getting concerned now. It could be that she gained some in first trimester so her body is just trying to balance it out or something. Nature works in mysterious ways. Of course each pregnancy is unique and there is no one-size-fits-all but she seems to be going against statistics. Not much nausea and or vomiting in first trimester, weight gain in first trimester, not much weight gain in first few weeks of second trimester and she sleeps more in second trimester when most women are more energetic at this time in their pregnancy.

We have our second prenatal visit scheduled next week and this one is going on the list of questions!

Happy Birthday Mommy!

Minal finishes her first year in her thirties today. So Happy Birthday mommy! You are allowed to mope today because that is what birthdays in thirties bring to you :) But don't be long because it is also a time to celebrate or an excuse to.

Soon we will stop counting our birthdays and start counting our baby's. I guess this is why people call it next stage in life because there is no looking back. Starting in a few months from now we will have to factor our baby into every calculation before we make a decision. And it was not long time ago that we started factoring each other into every calculation. But that lasted only two years. This one is going to last for 18 years at least! Well, that justifies the title of the blog.

But we got 18 years, to start with, to experience how our lives have changed. Today is your birthday, a perfect excuse to celebrate, and it does not matter what number your age has added up to, we are going to celebrate! Eat out, that is.

Flash Back

January 9th, 2008
It had been a week since we returned from our trip to California and Nevada. Minal's period was due around 25th of December but we assumed it probably was stress, hiking and restlessness that caused the delay. With week at home and no sign in sight she decided to take a home pregnancy test. Positive; but with a test that expired a year ago. She called me at work and we were already on a roller coaster of emotions but did not know what to expect yet. She has her periods regularly but once she had been two weeks late before.

I said I will stop by a drug store on my way home and pick up another home pregnancy test. I got home with with a bunch of tests but decided to wait until she had accumulated urine for at least 4 hours. We woke up around 3 in the morning and this time we decided to do go with the dipping method. Showed a + sign instantly!



January 10th, 2008
With two tests positive and considering the fact that her last period was around 23rd of November we figured we were already in 7th week of pregnancy. We decided to stop by at our physician's for a blood test to confirm our pregnancy. Results should arrive in a couple of days and so we will have to wait. But deep down we knew that the we were pregnant and that we should start looking for a gynaecologist for her. I dropped her home and went to work.

I started asking around at work for a good gynaecologist and got a couple of references. I also spent a few hours reading forums and reviews to find a good doctor. We were also, obviously, behind on our reading and had no clue what to expect and what our next should be. Minal spent some time on Framingham library website looking for books and videos that could help us catch up to 7th week of pregnancy. And there were all there concerns about her state of mind and body might have affected the baby. We started making list of questions we had to find answers to to make sure that the baby was doing alright.

January 12th, 2008
Minal had her blood test last Thursday and we knew it would take a couple of days to get the results. We did not hear from doctor's office on Friday or Saturday and we were getting anxious. Minal called doctor's office on Monday and what could have been more frustrating than hearing 'We do not have power at our office today so we cannot get to results of your test'. Minal was starting to swear at the Medical System of the greatest country in the world and who could blame her. I guess we will have to wait until the office that was built half in Framingham and half in Natick would get power in the half of the building that fed the computers that held results to our most important test in life, ever.

Minal called again on Tuesday and we got our results along with a big congratulations. It was real now. More real than those home pregnancy tests. HCG count in her blood was about 65000!! And yes her stomach had started showing signs of a life growing inside her.

I started making calls to get an appointment with a gynaecologist. Little did I know it was going to be another frustrating experience with the medical system. We were told that we will have to meet a nurse first to go through all the paper work and that doctor will not see us until we were 10 weeks into pregnancy. Minal was ready to leave for India where she could go to any doctor anytime and get answers to all her questions at once. I could understand where she was coming from since we had all these questions/concerns piling up on our list and we could not talk to a medical practitioner who could assure us that everything was ok. All we wanted to know was that our baby was ok. We finally settled with an appointment with nurse on 23rd of January and I stopped by at the doctor's to pick up prenatal vitamins so Minal could start getting her daily dose that should have started before conceiving.

January 23, 2008
We reached at 11:05 am for our 11 am appointment and that nurse has a nerve to tell us that she will have to reschedule because we were late for our appointment!! Minal was ready to choke her to death but we wanted this appointment bad. I argued with the nurse rationally and she said she will have to cut short our appointment in case her 11:30 showed up. I am sure she was just trying to scare us into showing up on time for our appointments but she chose the wrong couple! She was lucky that she chose a day to be nasty when we could not afford to.

Fortunately she was not the one we were supposed to see. That would be a relief. We met the nurse, got through the paper work and our list of questions and concerns and were assured that none of it will have an adverse effect on baby's health. There was just one problem for us. Doctor we chose was pregnant herself and her delivery date was in May which meant she could be out on her maternity leave when Minal is about to pop, around August 30th.

When I got home that night we talked about it and decided that we will change our doctor. Since Minal had already give seven tubes of blood for different tests we decided to change to a doctor associated with the same practise and got an appointment for 4th of February; another 2 weeks away. Minal could not wait any longer to share this news with parents. We had decided to wait until after our first appointment with a doctor but 2 more weeks was a long time to wait. We talked to both sets of parents that night and also to Naresh and Sejal bhabhi.

Choosing the one
Until now I had not realized how important it is to have a good gynaecologist. Not just for medical support but also for emotional. Definitely you want somebody who would listen to you and attend to all your concerns. Of course we had not yet gotten a chance to meet any doctor to decided one way or the other. And no amount of reading reviews or going through a doctor's degrees was going to assure Minal that he/she was the one. So the following Friday we went through lots of bookings and cancellations of appointments with various doctors at various practises. We finally decided to go with one we had gotten a reference for from a colleague of mine. She liked her. But that did not mean we could bypass the paper work and/or our meeting with a nurse first.

Good thing was since our previous doctor and this one were both associated with the same hospital I assumed we could share results of Minal's blood test between the two practises. We got our appointment with nurse for 7th February and with Dr. Jane Molinari for 14th February.

By this time I had also started exchanging e-mails with our current landlord to know our options of moving out with breaking our lease that we renewed just 6 weeks before we found that we were pregnant. Fortunately he agreed to let us move out with a 2 months notice provided we make our apartment available for potential occupiers to take a look. Of course there was $250 charge for breaking the lease. We did not know where we would move to but after we were pregnant we were definitely not going to continue living at our current apartment for various reasons.

We had also figured that Minal's current insurance was only good for preventive or emergency care. It would not cover a lot of costs associated with pregnancy and besides she may quit before she was ready to deliver. So we had to move her to my insurance but it would take some convincing for my company to change my benefits in the middle of the cycle without any family status changes. Of course birth is one of those but pregnancy most definitely is not a family status change. So I submitted an appeal to my company's benefits center to allow me to add Minal to my insurance in the middle of the cycle.

February 7th, 2008
Our second appointment with a nurse. We had brought filled up paper work and so it would mostly mean for both parties to get acquainted and get answers to our questions, if any. Fortunately results from blood tests at our previous doctors practise were in the system and so Minal will not have to donate blood again. We were briefed on Early Risk Assessment which we had to decide on. Other than that there was general chatting about topics related to pregnancy. But I could see that Minal was relaxed and it appeared that at least this practise was the one she wanted to stick with. If she likes the doctor on our next visit then bingo! we would have our very own gynaecologist who will walk us through the most important journey in a couple's life.

February 14th, 2008
Today we were supposed to meet our doctor for the first time. It was already 11th week and from our reading we knew that we may get to hear baby's heartbeat for the first time. At the clinic we first met a nurse practitioner who asked for her urine sample and then jumped right onto looking for baby's heartbeat. Some gluey stuff on her belley and a couple of seconds with a Doppler later there it was. Baby's heartbeat, 150 beats per minute!! This was more real that the home pregnancy test or the blood test. This was actual life beating inside her belly. As soon as the nurse took Doppler away from her belly she went 'can we listen to it one more time?'. And there it was again. It filled our ears with joy we had never experienced before. All our concerns/worries were gone instantly and all we could hear were those 150 strokes a minute. What could be a better Valentine Day gift?

Later we met Dr. Molinari who checked the size of her uterus with other things and everything seemed to be fine. She briefed us again on Early Risk Assessment which is a combination of ultrasounds and blood tests to test for genetic problems early on. An ultrasound and blood test has to be done between 10 and 12 weeks followed by a blood test at 15 weeks. Results from all tests are then combined. Since we were already in our 12 week we will have to decide soon so that she could get us an appointment at the UMASS Memorial, Worcester where first round of tests will happen.

We talked about it on our drive back to my work and I also checked with my insurance to see how much will be covered. We decided to get it done and they got us an appointment for our first ultrasound and blood test on 19th February. I knew nothing would make Minal more happy than having an ultrasound to make sure everything was ok with the baby. Without Early Risk Assessment our first ultrasound would have happened after 18 weeks of pregnancy.

February 16th, 2008
Now that we had heard his heartbeat and knew everything was ok with the baby we were ready to share the news with our family friends here in the USA. We called Pappu and Neelanjana, Ben and Vijju and Mohan and Priya all on the same day. We wanted to share this with Pappu and Neelanjana in person when we met a week ago at Ravi's. Unfortunately we did not good alone time then. Mohan and Priya are expecting in March and they do not know whether theirs is a boy or girl. So when I mentioned that we would not like to find out either he tried to pull a bollywood stunt and started with 'Cool. If ours is a boy and yours is a girl' but I interrupted him then and there with 'Don't even think about it'.

First Ultrasound
With early morning appointments we were starting to settle down with the fact that our sleep timings were about to change. And 8 am appointments were just a very minute start that will eventually lead to sleepless nights and taking turns to feed the baby. The baby that we were get a look of for the first time that day. We were at the UMASS Memorial, Worcester Campus for our ultrasound and blood test as part of first round of tests for Early Risk Assessment. After going through paper work to verify that they had correct insurance on file we waited for our turn.

At around 8:30 we were called in for our ultrasound. The nurse told us that this test may take 5 minutes or 5 hours and it all depends on how much the baby co-operates. It was still only about 7.4 cms. and inside an amniotic sac but had started to control our life. Now that is amazing. Again, the gluey stuff and few seconds later we had a black and white video on the monitor. The image was very blur and we could not exactly picture what we were seeing.

To start with the baby was already lying on his stomach showing early signs of non co-operation movement. But at least we knew that he picked up his sleeping on stomach habit from me. Then nurse asked Minal to roll her side to face the nurse to see if that would flip the baby around to get him on his back. Didn't work. So she was then asked to face me and that did it. And sure enough the nurse said 'Oh he likes daddy!'. And no Minal was not thrilled to know that the baby was already showing signs of being more affectionate to me! I wasn't trying to rub it in or anything but I enjoyed the fact that he was favoring me.



Sometime later there it was, a black and white image of our baby waving at us. We could not differentiate nose from chin or anything but sure enough his fist was visible. What can I say, this was more real than listening to his heartbeat. For rest of the time I held Minal's hand and we kept staring at the monitor until nurse finished taking all measurements.

What was strange was that baby was bouncing a lot almost like having hick ups. Not sure if the baby is supposed to do that, at least we did not see that in any of the videos we saw, and we asked the nurse.

She said 'the baby is happy. I don't know how else to explain that'. Could be that the baby is very active and knowing that made both of us more happy. Fortunately, other than sleeping on his stomach, the baby co-operated and we were done within 25 minutes or so.

We stopped by the lab downstairs for blood work and from now on we will have 4 weeks between prenatal visits.